The Samosa Masala

Queer

2012-02-09T07:50:00.002+05:30

Disclaimer: I am herewith issuing spoiler alerts for movies I watched. Proceed at your own risk.

You know when your thoughts just wander away? A lazy afternoon, an open book in front of you and a cup of hot tea is all you need to get that non-stop train going.

Have you ever wondered how you landed upon a topic of conversation. People just talk, one thing leads to another and bam! you would probably be engrossed in an argument. It's funny, on the one hand you are arguing passionately about something and on the other, wondering how you ended up here.

So where was I? Oh yes, lazy afternoon. I was just pondering over two movies I had recently watched.Both very interesting ones I may add. What do you think about immortality combined with perpetual youth? What would it be like to just live? There is no anticipation of death. There is no end at all. The Man From Earth was the movie which discussed this all. A man who had defied time to live longer than 10000 years and looked no older than 30. This reminded me of a poem I had read once. Tithonus (Alfred, Lord Tennyson) was about this young man of Trojan birth, who fell in love with Goddess Eos. He was granted the boon of immortality but not eternal youth. And so he withered away, pining for the silence of the graves which could never be his. But strangely enough, they call it the boon of immortality.

Speaking of Time, how cool would it be if we could travel to our past or future? Or would it? We could easily change the happenings of our past and possibly wreck our future. Or we could peek into the future and spoil the element of surprise. So this guy travelled backwards in time. He enjoyed his time in what he thought was the Golden Age. But he met a woman who was of the opinion that the period of time that preceded her era was the one worth living in. And so spent the man his Midnight in Paris.

But I think everyone is prone to the notion that any era other than the present would have treated them better. Which reminds me, do you think times have changed after all? Have ideas and mindsets changed? Are we really as evolved as we believe ourselves to be? Sure, thought processes have been liberalised. Women are being educated. But that's not my point. All I ask is, are we just literate or really educated?
I would call a person well educated only if I find him/her to possess the spirit to accept different views and opinions without objecting.

Difference of opinion is commonplace. But I don't think anyone has the maturity to accept the fact that various opinions exist and it's OK if all of them are not in agreement with one's own ideals and beliefs. For instance, let's say I prefer shopping at Place A to Place B. Now people who like Place B argue that Place A is not as good as Place B. Fair enough. But they push the discussion to the point where either I have to accept their view as my own or never shop at Place B at all. See where I'm going?

So it comes down to whether you would stick around and reason why you like Place A better or would consider it too petty a matter and put the whole issue behind you.

But I have digressed. I realize that my cup is empty. I have a book to finish. I have to get on with life.

Love...I guess.

2012-02-01T16:08:00.001+05:30

And that's when I first saw her.

No violins played in the background. No rain came pouring down. But I just saw her as she walked down the street. It was a pleasant evening in January. A light breeze whooshed across and played with her dark hair. She had pulled it back into a pony. But one stray strand softly curled down her neck. She was talking animatedly to a friend who accompanied her. Then she turned and our eyes met.

The glance lasted two seconds and she was gone.

I was back on that street nearly every evening. Standing discreetly behind a tree, I watched her.

~*~

Six months later, we were having coffee at CCD.

"...and she called in sick today. So I'm dumped with all her work. Isn't that sad? Why do I have to end up doing her job? We aren't even in the same team!"

I smiled and nodded in assent. Here I was sitting with the woman who made my life seem so much more worth living. We had spent the last three months in each other's company. Growing more close with each meeting. We visited restaurants, movies, the beach. I was sure that half my salary was being spent on her.

~*~

Two years had passed. We dined in silence at her apartment. Her favourite songs played in the background. All the expensive gifts I had given her littered her dressing table. Life had taken many twists and turns.

She smiled that innocent smile. Softly I took her hand,and placed a diamond studded ring on her ring finger. That ring had cost me a fortune, but anything for her.

"Anjali, I no longer have a job that pays me well. I don't know what the future holds in store for me. But I promise to be there for you always. Will you marry me?"

Tears welled up in her eyes. She hugged me.

Excellent instrumental music marked the end of the movie. As Aishwarya walked out of the theatre, she wondered why Anjali decided to marry a guy who had at first stalked her, squandered money on expensive, useless gifts and had no job to support himself.

And so we fell in love.

2012-01-09T18:07:00.000+05:30

He expressed his love and she replied with a tight slap on the face. There is something so charming about this movie. Having grown up watching movies which had the hero falling for the heroine within seconds of their meeting or vice-versa, this was a refreshing change for me. There's the initial cold war, Ramya is engaged to someone else but in a time of crisis Krishna helps her out. And so they bond. They entire family warms up to this ordinary, everyday character of Krishna. Then as fate would have it, Ramya has to decide between Krishna and Aravind, to whom she is betrothed.

The story explores an actual relationship. The pitfalls. The complications arising in an Indian family setting. The thing which appealed to me most was the gradual blossoming of feelings between the protagonists. And with the most pleasant climax ever. Aravind finds someone with whom he shares the 'chemistry' too! And how? Just the way Ramya and Krishna started--with a fight. :)

A movie which I will never tire of watching. Kanda Naal Mudhalai Kaadhal Perugudhadi!

Don 2--Not A Review.

2011-12-26T17:18:00.003+05:30

So I watched Shah Rukh Khan in 3D. Yeah.

I should have suspected this was going to be a disaster when they were selling tickets at 180/- for a 3D movie.
Nachos, check. Coke, check. I settled down to watch Don 2. So there's this scene with a boat, bad guys are talking. Then Shah Rukh Khan enters, the whole theatre screams (nonsense, no one even hooted for Endhiran!)

Shah Rukh Khan has a cool pony, which he later does away with. Then dishkoom dishkoom happens. Oh no! Crisis--nachos are over! So back to movie. Dishkoom Dishkoom. Why am I watching this in 3D? No difference only yaar! Then Shah Rukh goes to jail. Oh look there's Priyanka Chopra. Again dishkoom dishkoom. This is boring re.

Then Lara Dutta appears. Then she sings and dances. Then they hatch master plot involving a bank robbery or something. Some apparently funny one liners by SRK. I did not laugh at all-I don't know if I am an unfunny person or the general level of intelligence of the audience present was that low. I am inclined to think the latter.

So lots of dishkooms and hahahahas from the audience later, the movie ended with someone nearby screaming 'Don 3'. Meh.

So what is supposed to be an intelligent plot is nothing but a story written by a tenth standard kid. Oh no, kids write better stories. I am insulting them. So what is nice about the movie?

a) Hrithik Roshan in a cameo(yay!) But that scene was so predictable and has already been done in lots of Tamil movies. Tch.

b) Kunal Kapoor: Not for his acting skills (which are non-existent by the way) but because he is cute(don't judge me please.)

Oh and Priyanka Chopra looks great although I thought she could do with some food. Farhan Akthar, did I tell you that I thought you danced better than Hrithik? Please, no Don 3, ok?

In fact the high point of the movie was when Roma falls for this stupid line from Don when he says that he wants to be a free man. The entire theatre went "Why This Kolaveri Di?" :D

So it's a pointless movie. Really.

Moral of the story: Please try nachos. They are really good.

Happy Birthday Post!

2011-12-24T09:30:00.000+05:30

Happy Birthday Blog! I survived three years in blogosphere! I'd like to thank my parents, friends, enemies, oh you get the drift. *takes a bow*

Birthdays always remind one of cakes, celebrations and lots of fun, mostly associated with our childhood. Yesterday, I was watching this movie called 'Pasanga'. It was so natural, and true of anyone's past. Kids fighting over petty homework issues, group-ism and this really heart touching moment when a boy asks his father to quit smoking. That was when it struck me, we never grow up. Instead of homework, it's our responsibilities, the same group tendencies, the same emotions. As we grow older, all these childhood troubles seem so petty, why not look at our present troubles with the same attitude? Life would be much easier, wouldn't it? :)

Short Story

2011-11-27T16:02:00.000+05:30

First attempt at short story. This story is very close to my heart as it was something my sister and I came up with when we were as young as ten.

This is the story of Blood Red. Blood red was a strange girl. Wherever she went people stared at her. The reason? I shall now tell you.

Blood red's mother was a very inattentive woman. But she was very well read. So inspired by the children's story, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", she wished for a daughter. But having been slightly drunk at that time, she kind of messed it up. So this is what she asked for "A daughter whose skin is as red as blood, hair as white as snow and lips as black as coal." So you can imagine what happened. And as always, the mother in question died and the King father had to re-marry. So this woman whom the King married, she was obsessed about being the most idiotic of them all. So obviously there is a mirror which she keeps questioning. And the mirror happily told her that she was indeed an idiot and the best idiot that ever existed.

But all stories have a twist and so does this one. As soon as she married Blood Red's father, the mirror informed her that her status of Supreme Idiot of This Land was being challenged by none other than Blood Red. And as all fairy tales go, the queen chased Blood Red out of the kingdom. So Blood Red without crossing seven lakes and seven hills, just took the local bus and landed up on the doorstep of Seven Giants. The Seven Giants took a lot of care of her and all that. Then the queen hatched a brilliant plan to do away with Blood Red once and for all. She poisoned one half of an apple intending to feed it to Blood Red. So in the guise of an old woman, she visits Blood Red and coerces her to buy apples. When Blood Red refuses, the queen asks her to taste an apple before she rejects it. So the queen whips out the poisoned apple, slices it and hands one half over to Blood Red while she ate the other half herself. A few minutes later, the queen clutched at her throat, screamed and fell to the floor dead. Uh, she had mistakenly eaten the poisoned half herself.

So the evil queen met death. Pretty idiotic all right.

Story over. Now run along you.

Original story courtesy: The Grimm Brothers.

And it struck me...

2011-10-12T16:28:00.001+05:30

There were tenthousand thousand fruit to touch,
Cherish in hand, lift down, and not letfall,
For all
That struck the earth,
No matter if not bruised, or spiked withstubble,
Went surely to the cider-apple heap
As of no worth.
One can see what will trouble
This sleep of mine, whatever sleep it is.
Were he not gone,
The woodchuck could say whether it's likehis
Long sleep, as I describe its coming on,
Or just some human sleep.

~Excerpt from AfterApple-Picking by Robert Frost~

Monotony dominates my days. Yet I too have my apples to finish picking. Everyday I strive to achieve a dream. The destiny that I await is much the same as others. But the path one chooses to take matters the most. And when I reap my harvest, I wish not to look back at my journey with regret. So pain, suffering, joy, I take it as they come. And no matter what, there's always something that's going to go into that cider-apple heap. And as I await the time I can step down from the ladder, I hope to make apple picking a most enjoyable experience.

The Curious Case of Ohmahazeeya

2011-09-27T10:51:00.002+05:30

So with Force, which is supposed to be the remake of Kaakha Kaakha, everyone on a national level has finally become acquainted with 'Ohmahazeeya'. So the next obvious question is, what does it mean? Now this poses quite a serious problem and all those scams pale in comparison to the gravity of this question. Before anyone starts fretting, I'm here to tell you that I do know the meaning of the phrase and would like to impart this knowledge to the world.

So let's break down the word and analyse it. Ohmahazeeya basically is Ohm + aha + zeeya. Yes, I know what you're thinking. It is not Oh-Maha but Ohm Aha. The term Ohm is cleverly used here. It is both a reference to that German Physicist dude and the sacred chant Om. It pays homage to science AND religion. Smart right?

'Aha' has a simpler explanation. It is an exclamation.A person who has understood the meaning of Ohm naturally exclaims in delight. Hence Aha.

Zeeya is a modified form of the widely used term-cya.Simple no?

Now if you have better work go do that. Next time I'll tell you the meaning of Hasili Fisili.

Federer, Ghilli, etc.

2011-09-20T22:23:00.000+05:30

Two sets up. Two match points. And then my heart was torn into two.

I don't think anything has affected me as badly Federer's Grand Slam losses--matches that he ought to have won. The hardest I've ever cried in my life is when I saw him break down at the presentation ceremony in Australia, 09. When Vijay can lose the kabbadi semi-finals and move onto the finals without a problem, why can't Federer? Aah well. That's life.

And coming to Vijay, some of the worst days of my life includes one where I watched 'Villu'. It was pure torture and took me days to come out of that trauma. If only he would realise overacting is not the solution to every problem!

In other news, Dussehra is coming up. Which means we get to arrange cute dolls and make awesome 'sundal' for nine straight days. Which is fun!

Also, this is not a regular sort of post. Just a few things I had on my mind. So if it's not funny, thoughtful or whatever, I really don't care!

Happy Puja holidays everyone!

How To Pass a Drawing Exam

2011-09-12T10:50:00.000+05:30

This post is dedicated to all those who have ever had to sit through a drawing exam and with much difficulty obtain a C grade. I understand your sentiments and belong to the same category.

Drawing exams are essentially meant to test your patience and delay your holidays. The only advantage we have here is the variety of options to fall back on if you aren't the very artistic sort. This is applicable for school going kids of any age. As you progress from primary to middle to high school, you can improvise on this skeleton I am going to be giving you.

Often, you are given an A4 size sheet of plain paper. This is how you go about it:

Step 1: The Title.

Generally you are given a selection of topics to choose from. Write the title in big letters and stylishly. If you think you are incapable of coming up with a sketch for any of the topics, look carefully. You are bound to find the topic 'MY CHOICE' in the list.

Without further ado select that. Here is how your title could look. Make sure it covers half the page.

Step 2: The actual sketch. There is scope for drawing anything under the sun here, including the sun itself.
I'm giving you two sure shot tips which will help you achieve that C grade.

A) Landscape/Nature: A landscape sketch could be of two types.
1) A mountain scene.
2) A valley or a pasture.

So a mountain scene is simple. All you have to do is draw four or five hills and a sun rising from behind them. This is much similar to the DMK party symbol.

For added effect you can have a river flowing down from one of the mountains.

(Now the pointers you see there, the one to your top left says "These are birds" and the one towards the right says: "This is a stream".)

A pasture could be simple as drawing a line or as tough as constructing a circumcircle. Draw a line at the bottom of the page. That is the ground. Then sketch grass or a few leaves (yes yes, AIADMK symbol only) on the ground. Draw a sun, a few clouds. A stream nearby for added effect. Now students of high school could improvise by adding a tree with apples in the corner of the page.

B) A Village Scene.

A village scene could involve a fair or a market place or just a day in the life of the village folk. All three situations involve stick figures like this:

A fair should have a giant wheel, random shops and random people. A market place would be a fair minus the giant wheel. A day in the life of farmers would be a pasture from A) with a few women carrying pots of water and children playing.

Step 3: Your name should always be drawn in large, pretty letters at the bottom right-corner of the page. Like this:

So your final product should like this:

So kids, this is the simple, three step secret to passing a drawing exam. Go ahead and sketch away. Thank me later.

How to direct a Gautham Menon movie!

2011-09-05T15:30:00.001+05:30

The huge success of movies like Vaaranam Aayiram and Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya got me thinking that with a few tips and tricks I could easily become the next best director in Kollywood. But then my friends reasoned with me and made me see the light. To direct a movie you need money and for money you need to confront people like producers and convince them to lend you a few lakh rupees to make a movie no one is going to want to watch. And that is a tough job.

So I thought, why not pass on my knowledge to aspiring movie directors?

Behold! The ultimate guide to directing films a la Gautham Menon!

Mr.Menon is well known for putting a lot of thought into his female characters. So your story basically needs a heroine who can manage this expression:

You get my point? Also throw in some complicated combination of alphabets and that'll be her qualification. Oh and she's the complicated person who thinks more than required. Let's call her Messy. So you have your story's female protagonist named Messy. An engineer who has done her MBA from the city's best college and is now working as a kindergarten teacher. Also, her voice must compulsorily be a cross between Hina Rabbani Khar's and any homo sapien in possession of the Y chromosome.

Now namma hero. The hero's characterisation depends on the genre of your story. So if it's an action film, he's a
1) a tough cop
2) a loner

If the movie is romance based then obviously he is a hopeless romantic who has a job for the sake of having a job. The common trait of the heroes of both the genres is that they fall in love with the heroine at first sight even though they may not be the sort who like pursuing women. Let's name him PlaneThick.

If your story is an action movie then the villain should be a long haired person who commits the vilest of crimes. Then the villain chases the cop, the cop chases the villain and then they kill the heroine. There's your movie.

A love story would involve dialogues like this:

PlaneThick sees Messy get into an auto ahead of him. It's love at first sight.

PlaneThick: Hi Messy. I've fallen in love with you head over heels.

Messy: *gives that bleh expression* PlaneThick it would never work. Listen to me. Go get a life PlaneThick.

PlaneThick: Just listen me out Messy. I *know* you like me Messy. Give it a chance.

Messy: Ok PlaneThick.

*sings duet and all*

Then for some unknown reason,

Messy: Ok PlaneThick thanks for the coffee and all. Ciao!

PlaneThick: WHAT?!

*sings sad song and dedicates life to work*

Climax: Messy about to get married in the church. Then she says "No, I won't" and goes on to make PlaneThick's life miserable or she goes ahead and marries the dude and lives happily ever after.

~The End~

Now if your movie is a hit you could always say that this is your life story and such a romance did exist in your life.

PS: Please share the profits you make from your movie. Also, contributions to this post are welcome.

PPS: I was only kidding. Truthfully, I have enjoyed almost all of Gautham Menon's works. The cinematography in particular is a treat to the eyes. Don't kill me for writing this post.

The Hostile Hosanna!

2011-06-18T23:14:00.000+05:30

"Ada ennadi idhu, eppa paathalum 'Osama Osama' nu oru paattu?" ("What's this song which goes 'Osama Osama' ?") , says my mom whenever she listens to Hosanna from the album Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya.

Needless to say, I end up ROFLWHATEVER and consequently forget about the song playing in the background. And how many ever times I try explaining the difference between Osama and Hosanna, my mom just doesn't seem to get it.

So when all the news channels were running berserk covering stories on Osama's death, my mother turns to me and asks, "Avan thaan sethu poyitane. Ippovaavdhu Osama Osama nu paadama irupiya?" ("Now that he's dead, will you stop singing Osama Osama?")

'En vaasal thaandi ponaane Osama!' :)

Chat over a Chaat

2011-06-12T21:31:00.001+05:30

"If I don't clear Chartered Accountancy, I'm going into the chaat business."

One line I use pretty frequently.

Any time, is a good time to hog on chaat. You have different types for different weathers. The cold, breezy winters are perfect for a Samosa Masala. A walk in the rain and a Masala Puri to refresh your thoughts. Come the good, warm summers and it's time for the epic Paani Puri. It has become an integral part of our lives. One has to but step on to the streets to test the fact. People standing around relishing their evening snack has become quite a common sight.

What's more, people have come up with more innovative ways to lure us ever hungry chaat-freaks. For instance, pudiyaans can be converted to paani puri or the "Ting Tong" chaat. Or add little pineapple pieces and dry grapes to your classic bhel puri to make it "special bhel". A dash of dahi on your sev puri and voila! you get yourself sev dahi batata puri!

No matter what city you are in, be it Mumbai or Delhi or Chennai or Bangalore, there's no place where you won't find your favourite food!

Dedicated to Suppandi!

2010-11-10T12:45:00.000+05:30

Every Indian at some point in life must have read (presumably) the children's magazine 'Tinkle'. If you have read it, then you must have obviously read Suppandi! Suppandi the lovable, idiotic servant who makes all his masters go 'Eurghhh'. Introduced in 1983, his popularity, in a way, symbolises our love for PJ's! For ages he has been one character whom everybody was able to relate to and possibly one fictional person who created no controversies in the land of Arnab Goswamis and Barkha Dutts waiting to pounce on you.

Along with so many other comic characters he has formed a major part of my childhood! I still remember those days when my father used to rent Tinkle'' from the local library so that he could read Suppandi comics to me. Here's to hoping Suppandi lives for many more years to come! We love you Suppandi! :)

Cartoons, Nostalgia and Life!

2010-07-26T22:30:00.001+05:30

Life has thrown many of us into a mad rat race where we just keep going in circles, not knowing what we are doing. Unfortunately, I wasn't spared either! I have been so caught up with my busybody life that when I glance at the past, I find that there were so many things I did then that I would love to do even now! I miss those days when my only biggest problem was completing homework or a silly fight with friends. But the thing I miss the most are... CARTOONS!

I remember when the Cartoon Network logo used to be like this:

And I was very sad when it became this:

I remember when I used to rush home from school to catch the 4'o'clock Swat Kats episodes followed by Johnny Quest. No day was complete without the Addams Family! Swat Kats and Johnny Quest were by far my most favourite cartoons. Johnny Quest had it's appeal purely owing to the fact that it was eons ahead of its age. Swat Kats was because of all the cool machines and the 'Bingo's' and 'Bull's Eyes' !

I probably watched every cartoon that was ever telecast. There was Speed Racer, The Looney Tunes Show, Penelope Pitstop, Laugh-a-Lympics, Addams Family, Johnny Bravo, The Mask, PowerPuff Girls, Richie Rich(he had every gadget imaginable), Scooby Doo, Tom and Jerry, Popeye Show,Ninja Turtles, and there was a time when I was obsessed with Pokemon, Dexter's Laboratory, A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Justice League,Two Stupid Dogs, The Little Lulu Show, et cetera and et cetera in addition to the above mentioned two toons.

I sometimes look at my old collection of old Pokemon cards and laugh out loud! I used to buy those horrendous biscuits stuff which were eaten with some cream of some sort, only to get those cards which were given free along with them!

But then I grew up and Cartoons became extremely Anime oriented! They don't interest me any more.I wish I could rewind Time so that I could go back to time when I was seven and the only thing that mattered to me was getting home in time for my cartoon shows!

Ravannan--To hell with critics!

2010-06-26T18:30:00.005+05:30

The famously hyped movie thrashed by critics, the collections at the Box Office not going in favour of the movie, well who would like to watch it? Certainly not me! But if you're going to bribe me with caramel popcorn, I think you'll find that you will be able to persuade me. :)

So yes, using the above mentioned tactics, my sister dragged me off to watch Ravannan starring Vikram, Aishwarya Rai and Prithviraj. I was a little hesitant at first. When you announce to the world that you are gonna reproduce one of the greatest epics in the world, expectations are naturally high! But critics tearing the movie apart was rather unjustified in my opinion.

Coming to the plus points of the movie:

1) Cinematography :- Watch the movie and you'll know! :) Santosh Sivan and V.Manikandan have done a great job, capturing the beauty of the forests and the ferocious waterfalls! Words cannot describe their wonderful work. Kudos to you guys!

2)Vikram :- As Veera he was totally convincing. He adds strength and grit to the character and truly scares as the demon king of the wild jungle he rules! For Vikram, this has got to be his best performance after Anniyan.

3)Prithviraj :- He does a good job of playing the ruthless cop bent on capturing Veera. He smoothly covers his emotions and plays dangerous mind-games. The only aspect of his part that confused me was in the climax: did he suspect Ragini knowing that she would confront Veera about his (Dev's) accusations and thereby lead him to Veera or was it purely because he was suspicious? Hmmmm....

4)The Storyline :- Interesting storyline! That things are never black or white but lie in the grey space in-between is what Ratnam tries to point out. Dev wasn't exactly the upright cop that Ragini believed in. He had no qualms in shooting a peace-seeking negotiator nor did he have any problems manipulating his wife so that she would lead him to Veera.

All this sounds good but the movie had its share of minuses too!

The Storyline :- Yes. It turns out to be an asset as well as a liability! It would have worked better if only the director hadn't titled the movie Raavan or made constant references to the epic (i.e Ramayan). It generally works against the people's sentiments when you try to show epics like Ramayan and Mahabharta in a 'different' light. That would be a major reason why the movie didn't go down too well with the audience. However Ratnam has an excellent concept here and it would have been better off without the Ramayan angle.

Karthik :- Ok so we know he's playing the character of Hanuman. But does that mean he has to literally monkey around? Karthik is pathetic in the movie!

Constant Ramayan Angle :- Look Ratnam, the audience aren't a bunch of duffers; we are quite capable of reasoning and connecting things. So you just don't have to load your film with symbolism and repetitive references to the epic you've adapted. We know that Ragini was held captive for fourteen days, you don't have to include it in every single dialogue that every single character speaks! Yes we know your lead man's role is based on Raavan but why do we have to be reminded every other minute that he is nicknamed Raavan?

Though Ratnam has tried his best to present a different story he fails to scrutinise the character of Veera thoroughly. We know nothing about him except for the fact that he is being chased by the police and he kidnaps Ragini only to avenge his sister's loss. We never really saw the 'bad' side to him. Did he commit any crimes? (Apart from kidnapping Dev's wife of course.) He was quite popular with his people and well? That's about it :\

Overall it was a good watch but if the director hadn't connected it to Ramayan and had let the audience figure out everything for themselves, it would have done better at the BO.

I'm giving it 3/5 (and do yourself a favour and never watch the Hindi version. Why? Coz it has Junior Bachchan in it.)

Kavithai! Kavithai!

2010-05-17T11:36:00.001+05:30

It's summer time! It's the time to let your poetic senses flow free and wild! Well don't expect me to do a Thamarai or a William Wordsworth! Come along with me for a walk down memory lane and I'll show you something which you have never seen (presumably) before. When you are just seven, you tend to do stupid stuff! And I had a right laugh when I discovered this little piece of poetry, lying in my dusty cupboard, I had written long ago.

Poem Poem Poem
Poem You Poem
Poem Are Poem
Poem A Poem
Poem Fool Poem
Poem To Poem
Poem Read Poem
Poem This Poem
Poem Poem Poem

So you first read the whole verse. It won't make much of sense to you. And now, Voila!

Poem Poem Poem

Poem You Poem

Poem Are Poem

Poem A Poem

Poem Fool Poem

Poem To Poem

Poem Read Poem

Poem This Poem

Poem Poem Poem

Read in a sequence only the words in red! I apparently thought this was a good way to fool everybody! And now I realize how silly I've been myself! =D

All is not 'fair' in India!

2009-12-26T13:53:00.002+05:30

It's that time of the year when you need to whip out those moisturizing creams to protect yourself from the biting and dry weather.

I might say that we are contributing a lot to make the entrepreneurs of such 'cream companies' richer.There's nothing wrong with moisturizing creams but if it's a fairness cream you are talking about--well that's a different matter.

India is the biggest market for fairness creams.The reason being that Indians generally favour 'fair-skinned' people. OK 'favour' is probably an understatement.
You need to only switch on your television set and you'll see what I mean.Now how is this applicable in a daily scenario?Simple, I'll tell you...

Situation one: The South-Indian connection--The Groom-meeting-the Bride Ceremony

So you have like this guy who meets a girl. He rejects her coz she's dark-skinned. And then she uses this magic cream which gives her an eye-blinding white complexion. So this guy proposes again and it's her turn to reject him.

This tried and tested formula has been featured in many advertisements to lure south Indian women towards their products, as south Indian women have darker skin when compared to North Indian women. And needless to say, effective marketing ensures success for them.

Situation two:The job securing cream!

I've heard of creams helping you to heal rashes and ones to vanish your pimples but one that get you jobs? That's a stretch. So this girl is jobless and gets rejected all the time. And then she uses this fairness cream and then she lands herself an awesome job the very next day!

I could probably go on listing the number of situations these ever inventive companies make.People who believe in this stuff should probably open their eyes and notice the world around them. If people can achieve instant 'fairness' by the use of these creams, then let me assure you that there would be no dark-skinned people in this world!

But what really makes me laugh is that even men are turning to fairness creams now! Gender equality eh? Moreover,the sales of such products has always been on an upward trend.

The most distressing part about this issue is the discrimination that goes on even among little children. It harasses them to the extent that they lose their self-esteem. The false propaganda that the manufacturers make about their products should be rebelled against. Also, it has been medically proved that dark-skinned people are more healthier that fair-skinned people. Indians will be liberated only when they realise this truth!

Serial Killing!

2009-12-13T18:18:00.003+05:30

And so after a long time (6 years almost), the serial named 'Kolangal' came to an end.

No,I'm not exaggerating.Though this is not unusual as most tele-serials run for a period of 5 to 6 years.The funny thing about these "mega serials" is that the story never moves forward.Let's say you watch one at the time of its beginning and don't watch it again for a year or two and then suddenly switch it on one day, you'll find that the story has not changed much during that period of time.(I must say that they kill people like me with their stupid and illogical stories.)And if you're a writer out there and want a good,steady salary, I would suggest writing the script for some never-ending serial.The thing's in the bag if women watch your serial and start crying and sympathizing along with your serial's protagonist.Here are some useful pointers:

South-Indian Serials(Mostly Tamil which will eventually be remade into other languages):
1)So the heroine of your story(yes it has to be a heroine) is the sole bread winner of a family of,ummm let's say five people.

2)The five people being her mom, her two younger sisters and a good for nothing brother and herself.

3)Her father left her mother for his other family.Period.

4)So this mom brings up the kids with great difficulty.

5)Initially everyone is happy. Then start the troubles.

6)The younger sibling elopes with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend.

7)The heroine experiences financial problems(read money-lenders).

8)The heroine gets married to a brute, is abused and then divorces him.

9)She develops enemies in her professional and personal life and they keep trying to do her in.

10)You can think of more problems(like trying to frame her for murder,robbery, etc.,)to keep her out of peace for the next five years.

11)You can end the serial by making all her enemies apologize and she forgiving magnanimously.

North-Indian/Hindi Serials:

1)You have an over-sized family with both the extremely 'good' people and absolutely 'bad' people in it.

2)If your 'bad' person is a woman, she should be wearing really grand sarees with too much of make-up,and should have badly coloured hair along with a perpetual smirk on her face.

3)The hero of the story(that handsome hunk)is madly in love with a girl. But unfortunately for him she is deeply in love with her husband.

4)The hero is loved by the 'bad' girl.

5)She plots to take revenge on him when he refuses to accept her proposal.

6)Meanwhile, the girl who is loved by the hero divorces her husband(no reason required) and marries the hero. And then they get divorced too.

7)This cycle goes on and on.

8)You can kill a couple of characters and have them take birth again and again and again.

9)Finish the story abruptly.

Additions:You can have random weddings that are attended by large families.Giggling girls present at the weddings and dancing and singing and stuff like that.

I'm not saying all serials drag on forever. An example would be 'Enge Brahmanan' I mentioned in my earlier post.:)

P.S:You're welcome to add to the list.Go ahead and create your own story!

Hits and Misses 2009! Part-2

2009-11-14T21:19:00.005+05:30

A continuation of my previous blog on tennis, this post brings to you the ultimate newsmakers of 2009. There has been a lot going on in the tennis world and I present to you the most sensational news items ever!

Number 5: Richard Gasquet
“On 9 May 2009, French sports daily L'Équipe reported that he had tested positive for cocaine in March 2009, following his withdrawal from a tournament in Miami. On 5 June 2009, in an interview with the same newspaper, Richard Gasquet denies having taken cocaine notably quoting the fact that the amount found accounts for 1/10th of a rail line. Gasquet was provisionally suspended, but was later cleared due to his explanation that he had inadvertently consumed the drug after kissing a woman who had consumed it at a party. As of 16 July 2009, he is thus able to compete again.”
Source: Wikipedia

Now that’s quite a story. Getting out of this case was a tough one for Mr. Baby Federer but he’s managed it! Many professionals have been suspended because of drug abuse, many have escaped retribution. But, this has to be one of the oddest cases forever. Lucky the authorities believed him!

Number 4: Roger Federer

He made history by winning that elusive French and let’s face it he is the best player on this planet! Professional achievements apart, Federer became the proud father of twin girls and if I’m still obsessed with tennis twenty years from now, you can guess whom I’ll be supporting!

Number 3: Serena Williams

She threatened a lineswoman for calling a foot fault, she criticised Dinara Safina for holding the number one spot without a grand slam, and she won the WTA year ending championships and well the list goes on. But I think the most infamous one was the fiasco at the U.S Open semi-final which ultimately decided who was going to win the Slam this year.

Number 2: Justine Henin

Henin announced her comeback to professional tennis mere weeks after compatriot Clijsters won the U.S Open. Well known for her single-handed backhand, this lady left the WTA tour abruptly in May 2008 shortly before the French Open when she was world number one. Since then, the ranking had passed from hand to hand in quite a confusing manner. At any rate, I’m not complaining about her return. :)

Number 1: Andre Agassi

This guy has been The Newsmaker of 2009. His recently released book titled ‘Open: An Autobiography’ has startling revelations about his life on the tour. Apparently his famed long hair was a wig and he tested positive for drugs and got away with it. Andre, you truly deserve the number one spot!

Kalakkal Komedy!

2009-11-14T15:34:00.006+05:30

Examinations have been eating into my time.

So, yeah, that's my excuse for not updating my blog for the past two months. So, I'm gonna compensate by making two posts; both in accordance with my new found frenzy for countdowns.

Being a Tamilian and a lover of jokes, I naturally watch all the comedy tracks that are usually aired on 'sun music' and 'isai aruvi' everyday. :) Off late my favorite comedian has been Vaigai Puyal Vadivelu!

Here are some of the best Vadivelu tracks I have enjoyed:

5) Nesam Puthusu:-

Yes, it's the 'enna' joke! Vadivelu tries to escape the local panchayat's wrath after he teases a girl.
Ultimately the panchayat leader goes insane trying to get an answer out of him :D

4)Imsai Arasan 23rd Pulikesi:-

You don't stop laughing through the entire movie! It's clean humour makes it a very enjoyable movie as Vadivelu takes a dig at the everything-right from the Government to everyday beverages!

3) Sachien:-

Aiyyasaami being constantly kalaichified by hero Vijay right from the moment he meets him has a heavy impact on out funny bone! Vadivelu's attempts to make the heroine fall for him and these attempts being rudely interrupted by Vijay is a must watch!

2) Kaipullai from Winner:-

This one's a real winner alright! Vadivelu plays the head of the 'Varuthapadatha Valibar Sangam'--basically a group of four jobless people posing as goondas. He tries to get the better of the local goonda, which of course doesn't happen. End Result: He always comes worse off a fight.

And for the number one spot I have...

Steve Waugh from Manadhai Thirudhivittai!!!

I don't think any explanation is to be given as to why it has topped my listing! From the ridiculous stories of his family to his crooning of 'sing in the rain...' Vadivelu is hilarious!

Hits and Misses 2009! Part-I

2009-09-04T14:00:00.011+05:30

The final grand slam of the year is here and it’s time for some retrospection.

No. I don’t intend to write stories about the epic Federer winning all those grand slams. Instead, let’s have a look at all those whose on-court attires drove us mad.

Top 5 Fashion Disasters this season:

At number five, I have none other than Darth Federer himself! His Wimbledon attire this season was not up to the mark at all. I preferred last year’s cardigan to this year’s military-style jacket. Admittedly, he is one of the best dressed people on the tour; but I suppose anyone could make a faux pas!

Filling in the fourth place is Roger’s arch-nemesis, Rafael Nadal. The Bold Men’s Crew T-Shirt which Nike fitted out for him was just not appealing to the eye (not to mention those horrid wristbands,headband and the shiny stuff on his shorts.)

And Women’s World Number Three Venus Williams occupies the third spot. Her apparel for the French Open 2009 is an eyesore. Enough said.

Serena Williams has made it to number two on my list. Her French Open outfit, like her sister’s, was plainly disgusting. I wonder if she was trying to match the colour of her attire with that of the clay courts of Roland Garros. And she could do with some weight reduction. Reckon she’ll criticize me for not giving her the first spot? ;)

And finally, for the number one spot...

It has been usurped by none other Rafael Nadal! I thought I had seen the worst at the Grand Slam Down Under but he proved me wrong. This year’s French Open seems to have become home to all those fashion experiments gone wrong. Of all the colours on this earth, he had to choose pink? There’s nothing to criticize about his game but a lot could be said about his dressing sense. I’m sorry Rafa; you need to do better than that. My only piece of advise to you is to get yourself a good designer.

Enge Brahmanan-- The Truth.

2009-07-04T22:17:00.007+05:30

Greetings dear readers. It has been about two months since I last updated. I'm sorry for the delay!

So one fine Saturday evening I was doing my Maths homework. Wondering why I’m talking about things like Math? Well I’m coming to that, you’ll see. So, as I was saying, I was doing my Math homework when a sudden thought occurred to me, what is the point of Mathematics? Yes, you read it right. What is the point of Mathematics? Or any other subject that’s driven into our head right from our primary school days? What is it to us if atoms comprise neutrons, electrons and protons? What is the significance of development? Why is there a concept of money? Why don’t we live like the primitive man? Why do we communicate with other human beings? Why aren’t we like animals, on our fours, prowling away in jungles? What, for instance, is the purpose of this blog?

It’s all very well to ask questions instead of shutting up and doing my Math homework, you might say. But isn’t questioning the very essence of life? Are we just robots who perform tasks to attain specified ends? If so, what is this ‘end’? Happiness? But not many people in our society are happy today. The questions above point in one direction—what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? Are we, as some believe, God’s creations? Or are we the by-products of the Big Bang? What if there was no universe? Would there just be vacuum? But vacuum is something, I wonder what it would be like if there’s nothing.

Pondering very deeply, the answer that comes to my mind is: Knowledge. Yes, we seek knowledge—what this knowledge is, we cannot determine. It is as vast as the universe; something which an ordinary mortal cannot even begin to comprehend. I, being a theist, believe this is the work of God. We see miracles in our everyday life. Why we are miracles ourselves! What with our bodies which work like no man-made machine ever does and our brains faster than the latest computers, we are one of the best handiworks of God.

Once again, a question arises—this time a more direct one. Why am I speaking about this? What inspired me to write this blog? I’ll tell you. I’m sure you would have heard about a certain Mr. Cho Ramaswamy, the editor of the famed Tamil magazine, Tughlak. It is his story, in the form of a tele-serial, which aroused my interest in such things as I have spoken about. This serial, titled “Enge Brhamanan?” literally meaning “Where is the Brahmin” is certainly different from all other saas-bahu soaps.

It speaks of about God and the concept of Hinduism; about how Hinduism is not a religion but the way of life. It also speaks about the so-called “caste-system” with numerous references to the Mahabharata. It is Mr. Cho’s gift for explaining things in a way no one can that has made this story a huge success. The points are such that you cannot help but accept them. It also proves that Mr. Cho’s knowledge does not limit itself to politics alone. Also, the actor who plays the protagonist is convincing as Ashok, the incarnation of Rishi Vasishta.

But I’m quite saddened by the quite abrupt and sudden ending of this serial. Will the Brahmin never be found? I especially miss Mr.Cho’s takes on religion. I learnt a lot of things about our culture that I have never before known.

As a parting note I would like to say, let us discover our inner selves and strive to attain that divine knowledge that will truly make us the Brahmin.

P.S: You can watch the episodes of the serial on youtube.

Reviews and Previews!

2009-05-17T22:01:00.009+05:30

So I got to watch Ayan after about a month since its release. Yeah, so this is a review for the movie as you so rightly guessed. Also you’ll find a preview of Kanden Kadhalai, remake of the Hindi blockbuster Jab We Met. So what? I know this review is rather late but still...

Review of Ayan: A highly biased review in favour of Surya:-

Ooohhh, the movie was awesome! The stunts were Oh My God! Edge-of-the-seat thrillers. The soundtrack was okay. The plot really ingenious (well worth a Sheldon novel). The actress was, well she couldn’t act, but who cares about her anyway? I Love The Movie!

Review of Ayan: A reasonably sensible review:-

The plot was ingeniously designed and kudos to Surya for carrying himself well through the movie. A fairly good entertainer but blotched out in a few spots because of excessive violence. It would have been more likeable if the characters had not died such gruesome deaths. Surya is fairly okay with comedy though I prefer his much serious roles like in Kaakha Kaakha. Tamannah has served the usual purpose of being the hero’s beloved girlfriend. Typical I tell you. The villain acts like an absolute idiot. I mean, if he wants to be on top of the Greatest Smugglers In The World list why can’t he go on and smuggle things? But no, he has to pursue our omniscient and omnipotent protagonist in an attempt to thwart him from becoming Mr. Numerouno in the afore mentioned race. And if they really want to convince us that he is the son of “Saetji”, then he better start using more Hindi words rather than just “Avvannuku enna theriyum Saala?” (Forgive me for the mention of foul language.) Prabhu has done a commendable job, (at least there aren’t any enna-kodumai-sir-idhu like scenes!)

Coming to the soundtrack, Nenje Nenje is one decent song, though the cinematography goes a bit off-track in the otherwise fast-paced song. OoAayiEaAyi is also one where we are bound to shake a foot. The other songs are okay. Whereas Honey Honey is a bit too silly even for an item number. Koena Mitra looks laughable in her apparently sexy attire. Also, it explains why she never clicked in Bollywood (correct me if I’m wrong). Girl, you need to look alive when you’re supposed to be acting. What she does look like is a wooden puppet dancing on strings.

Now my take on Jagan of Nandu Vandu Chindu fame: Quite a competent actor, he was well worth the 200 bucks the movie had cost. There’s nothing more to say as the story-writer has done a good job in placing the suspicions on Karunas when it actually turns out to be Jagan. I take my hat off to you for the entertaining performance.

The cinematography is very well done. The stunt scenes have been shot in a fast paced manner that’s bound to captivate you. The climax was a cliffhanger (literally!) only, the stunts were a bit over the top.

Review of Ayan: A paragraph on how disgusting the movie was:-

Coming once again to Surya, excuse me he’s one of the bad guys here. So what is the nonsense about being a goody-two shoe? He doesn’t smuggle drugs coz it’s bad for the society (like diamonds and pirated movie CD’s are! What if this movie had been pirated? :P)

Tamannah—girl just face the facts, you can’t act! Thankfully she didn’t land any major role in the movie. It remains to see whether any director can suitably exploit her acting skills. Her only advantage is that she’s got a nice face, which is probably more than enough to get on in Kollywood considering that actress’s never have to do anything in a movie except look beautiful!

Stunt scenes—long drawn out and bloody, they sure induced the most repulsive facial expressions from me. They could have gone a little easy with all that violence. But then, that’s Tamil cinema for you!

Overall the movie was enjoyable but I would say that it is a strict no-no for under-fourteens. Also, some of this admirably intelligent plotline maybe abused by some people with not-so-nice intentions. The only advice I can give is that—don’t set store by movies and imitate them. Just treat them as entertainment and leave all the faulty points behind you in the theatre. But at times the movie does make your palm connect to your forehead (read -facepalm-).

Preview of Kanden Kadhalai:

A remake of the Hindi Blockbuster Jab We Met, this movie starrs Bharath and Tamannah in the lead roles. Well if it’s a remake, of course the story is going to remain the same with a few changes. But the director seems to be giving a whole new definition to the word ‘remake’. From the first released stills, it looks like the crew got hold of a VCD format of the Hindi version and replaced it with other stars in costumes quite similar to those of the original. And why does the actress have to colour her hair brown?

Kareena and Shahid were undoubtedly fantastic in the movie. I’m not sure if the lead pair of the Tamil version is going to do justice to the movie for Tamannah is plainly not up to Kareena’s standards. I do have some expectations from Bharath though. He can act quite well if he has the will to do so. However, I don’t want to judge the movie before it has been released. So let’s wait and see how this turns out!

A picture of Koena Mitra and stills from Kanden Kadhalai for you to judge my words!

Return of the Mann Vasanai...

2009-04-10T18:50:00.002+05:30

Hello Crazycracers! (Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t know what language that is!)

It’s been a whole month and half since I updated my blog. I apologise for neglecting it for such a long time. Since we last met I have completed my exams, got the results (sigh!), read three books and spent two weeks on a holiday visiting my native land. Two of the books I read were Grishams and one was a Sheldon. Sheldon—aaah! I just loved it! Grisham—well I must say he had an excellent plotline but rather lame endings.

Now I am not interested in writing cheesy reviews for either of the books. However, I would like to elaborate on my experiences in a village for two solid weeks.
The average tamizhan would probably immediately imagine a field of paddy (or whatever), an old man ploughing the field in the sweltering heat of the afternoon. Then in the distance you will be able to see an equally old woman holding a tin vessel, walking towards the old man (presumably her husband). She hails him and he turns and gives a toothless grin. They sit in the shade of a big tree and the old woman feeds, yes feeds, some soru and meen kozhambu to the man. STEREOTYPICAL!

So all this imagination is limited to those people who live in urban cities, have never visited a single village in the whole of their lifetime and regularly watch a film by barathiraja.

Now let me tell you what a real village looks like. OK, so there are like these usual fields, people working in them of course, large, mouldy houses and etc. Villagers are not as outdated as you might expect. By “as outdated” I certainly don’t mean that they possess the latest iphone or are acquainted with the internet. They, however, do know about telephones and televisions and are fast adapting to the language of English (which had turned out to be the universally used language. They are fast improving in the field of education and pose serious competition to the students from “urban” cities.

On the downside however—Imagine you are this internet addict who simply cannot resist wearing down the keypad with constant type chatting or fixing those headphones on your ears to listen and speak to distant friends and relatives. Imagine you just love to browse the net—an endless magic created for souls who find solace in networking websites. Now I also ask you to imagine being locked away in a place with No Internet Connection. That place would be somewhere close to hell for people like me. But I assure you, it wasn’t. Sure, I missed the internet but I had other things to distract me. My visit was truly a peaceful one. It was bliss being away from the noise and chaos of a busy town. No where else can you enjoy the bounties of Nature! The peace and quiet of the surroundings, the cool breezes and green fields, the cows grazing and--aah well, I’m getting too lyrical! So I was literally torn between the desire of getting back home and staying in the beautiful village to gaze at the so many wondrous stars during the time of night! (Stars are virtually invisible due to pollution in cities.)

My advice: Visit a village if you can. You’ll really like it! This also goes out to all those gals and guys working in the IT industry—return to the native soil. Give us all a break and stop being so darn westernised!

Aaaaahhh (an expression I’ve being using constantly in this post) I can smell the mann vasanai!

Rage of Angels vs 'Fashion'

2009-02-16T20:13:00.002+05:30

Buon giorno!

It’s yet another beautiful day at the Matto Mansion (if you’re wondering what Matto is, it’s the Italian word for ‘crazy’). So as I was saying, the sky was blue (like it was green earlier >.>) and the birds were chirping away merrily when her Highness sat down to type away her Blog Post the Fifth.

I recently watched the movie Bollywood ‘Fashion.’ You might ask how this holds any connection to what I’m going to say today. The answer is I’m doing a comparative study between this movie and Sidney Sheldon’s novel Rage of Angels. It’s just a comparison of some similar points in both the plots.

Point number one: Let’s take a look at the main characters- Jennifer Parker and Meghna Mathur. Jennifer Parker is an aspiring, young and eager student of Law who wants to make it big in her career. Meghna Mathur hails from a small town (just like Parker) and wants to realize her dreams of becoming a supermodel.

Point number two: Both Parker and Mathur have faithful male (and gay) friends who help them find success in their career(In Jennifer's case, it's Ken Bailey.)

Point number three: I would like to describe Manav as the Adam Warner in Meghna’s life. He helped her regain self-confidence and gave her the much needed friendship.

Point number four: Now comes the question-What about Michael Morreti? Morreti was the character who boosted up Jennifer’s career and also led to her downfall. So I think the Panache head- Mr. Sarein- would be the Morreti of Mathur’s life.

That’s all I could find. What’s your take? But when you compare the two, I think I prefer Rage of Angels. I found it more interesting and intriguing than the movie Fashion.

Fashion has many stupid points to it:

1) Why on earth would Meghna take it up to herself to help Sohnali? Insane right? Why can’t she mind her own business?
2) Why do the dresses designed for the ramp walk look inferior to the ones Meghna wears casually?
3) Why did Meghna inform her former employers on returning to Mumbai when she knew they wouldn’t bother?
4) Not to offend anyone- but why did Janet marry a gay?
5) Are all designers gay? I don’t think so.

What’s your opinion? Do you disagree? Feel free to express your thoughts on this topic.

Until next time,
Addio!

Crazy Musings Take Four!

2009-02-10T18:54:00.001+05:30

¡Buenos días!

The Queen is on her weekly tour and would like to know if her subjects are doing well!
You,in those yellow robes, yes you, what did you make of my last post? You don't find it funny enough? Too bad, but the Queen will strive to make her *ahem* minions feel good.

Enough small talk. Settle down, settle down. The tour is about to begin! This time I bring to you a small drabble(another fanfic) writen by me for the following prompt:

I challenge you to write a humour drabble in which an Indian OC comes to the Three Broomsticks and can talk ONLY in an Indian language (of your choice) Rosmerta misinterprets everything he says.

And here it is!!! *drum rolls please*

“Good Morning Madam Rosmerta. Two Butterbeers please” said the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge.
“Oh hello Minister! Nice to see you around these parts” replied a pleasant looking witch. The
Minister of Magic stood twirling a lime green bowler hat. Beside him stood a short, well-tanned man. He was carrying some parchment and a Quick Quotes Quill.

“Madam Rosmerta allow me to introduce to you Mr.Subramaniam Pillai. He is an official from the Indian Ministry of Magic,” continuing in an undertone he said, “Most unfortunately he does not understand English and can speak only some foreign tongue. I do wish Barty Crouch will hurry up and come here!”

He handed the Indian his Butterbeer and sat him down next to the counter. He was on the point of drinking his Butterbeer when someone hailed him.
“Excuse me,” said Fudge, “Madam Rosmerta could please attend to this man? I fear I must head over to Hogwarts immediately.”
“But of course sir” she said.

“Ungalodiya peyar yenna?” Madam Rosmerta thought it was the gurgling sound of water but soon realized that the Indian was trying to communicate with her.
She politely replied, “I’m sorry sir, but I do not understand your language.”
The man looked perturbed. He said again, “Ungalukku naan sollaradhu puriyalaya?”
“Sir, I don’t understand you” repeated Rosmerta politely.
“Ungalukku naan sollaradhu puriyalaya?” he asked again.
“But sir I really don’t understand you” repeated Rosmerta, slightly frustrated.
“Ungalukku naan solluvadhu puriyalay endral solungal. Naan evalavu mudiyom avalav Eenglis pesa muyarchi pannaren” said the Indian.

“But I don’t understand you,” said a vexed Rosmerta. Just then Fudge came to her rescue. “Thank you very much for being so hospitable Rosmerta. We ought to be getting along.” So saying Fudge gestured for the man to follow him.
As they moved out of the bar Rosmerta thought, Funny man, I never understood anything of what he told!

As they moved out of the bar the Indian thought, Paavom naan sonnadhu andha ammavukku puriyala polarukku.

Hope you all enjoyed it!

*Drum Rolls*

Attention dear Crazycracers!

The Queen apologises for her very short and un-entertaining posts. But, yes there is a clause, she brings you good news! She will shortly be posting the first chapter of her first ever original fiction! Yes, you heard it correct all right! The update will be sometime around the beginning of the next month. Until then ~

Adiós! (Yes, that is Spanish. You got it right this time!)

Crazy Musings Take Three!

2009-02-04T21:48:00.000+05:30

Guten Tag Crazycracers! (Yes, the Queen would like to show off her language skills)

I know it’s been a long time since I updated this blog, so I must apologise. Today’s topic will be Sidney Sheldon’s ‘If Tomorrow Comes.’ A very interesting book in all respects, the first chapter of the book led me to believe that Doris Whitney was the protagonist. It turned out to be her daughter actually (not that I’m complaining.) Writing a review for this book would be difficult seeing as it is filled with a lot of twists and turns and would possibly turn my review into a spoiler. All I can say is that—please read this book.

Meanwhile, I do remember that I mentioned that I am a Fanfic writer. I, in fact write Harry Potter fan fiction. I now present to you a drabble I wrote (psst, comments would be really nice!)

“Get away from that!” shouted Lucius Malfoy.

“What is that thing?” shrieked Bellatrix Lestrange

“It’s some kind of a weapon,” whispered one Death Eater.

“No, it’s some kind of prophecy,” said another.

“No you fool! Prophecies are always stored in glass balls,” yet another Death Eater quipped.

“We’ll have to inform The Dark Lord. He’ll know what is to be done,” said a voice, which hurried towards the door to find the Dark lord.

On the table lay a dark blue stick with soft, white projections. A name was engraved on it-it read “Colgate”

“It appears to be a wand of a Dark Wizard-a powerful one too considering he has engraved words on it,” whispered Lucius in an awed voice.

“But there is no greater wizard than the Dark Lord,” cried Bellatrix, defending her master.

“But what shall we tell him when he arrives? He will want to know how we came to posses this wand,” queried Death Eater One.

“We shall speak the truth. We found it on the lawn outside and feared it might be some deadly weapon that was being used to destroy our master,” replied Lucius.

A deathly silence fell upon the chattering crowd when a tall, hooded figure entered the room ushered in by a Death Eater. The figure moved towards the table where the weapon had been placed and stretched out a pale hand to pick it up…

“No master! We fear it might place your life in danger!” cried Bellatrix.

“Please do not handle that thing master!” cried yet another Death Eater.

“Silence! I do not fear anything!” said the Dark Lord in a harsh, cold and high voice.

“Master please…..we fear for your life….”pleaded Lucius.

“I’m the one who decides things here Lucius,” replied the Dark Lord rather peevishly.

“But master……”

“No questions,” said the Dark Lord rather firmly.

So saying he picked up the deadly weapon and examined it. After a few minutes of silence he declared, “This is a dark object all right but never fear, my dear subordinates, for this will not harm me!”

The Death Eaters gaped at him in awe.

“Yes indeed! I am so immune towards the Dark Arts that no weapon shall do me wrong. But beware; I shall use it on you if you do not obey me, my dearest minions!”

The Death Eaters glanced at the weapon with fresh respect and having received orders to leave the Dark Lord alone, left the room in a rather entranced manner.

The Dark Lord watched his faithful lesser beings leave the room with an evil smile on his face. When the last one had left he turned towards the window and soliloquized.

“Ah, what a foolish world this is! It is fortunate that these stupid Death Eaters obey my every word and do not bother to learn about the Muggle world. Yet it suits me for these beings believe me when I lie (as always) that this is a deadly weapon.
Stupid wizards are these who do not know that what I hold in my hand now is a mere toothbrush used by Muggles to clean their teeth-though why it is called a toothbrush they actually clean their teeth with is a mystery to me. Ah, what a foolish world this is!”

Well there you go! I actually wrote this for the following prompt:

Write a draft of a drabble of 700 words or less. You may use any canon characters, but the story must contain the following elements: at least one verbal exchange between two or more characters; a conflict centered on a toothbrush; and a resolution of that conflict.

Thanks for reading anyway! The queen must now, alas, retire to bed for ruling and blogging and etc and etc can indeed be very tiring.

Auf Wiedersehen! (No, that’s not French and yes, I know more German than you do-Mwwwuhahaha!)

Crazy Musings: Take Two!

2008-12-28T20:18:00.000+05:30

Greetings Crazycracers!

When the Empress of the new Crazycracy Government (read me) sat on her Throne of Craziness thinking hard on the subject of her next blog, this is what occurred to her. Her Craziness has many hobbies, apart from ruling her kingdom, like reading books. So, she thought, why not write a blog on books? Therefore, she sits now in front of her PC to type away her crazy thoughts.

To start of with, I choose to rip apart the works of Jeffrey Archer with my Sword of Craziness.

I have, by far, read two of his novels completely, two pages of a third one and devoured his short stories with pleasure.
Coming to the first novel Kane and Abel, (it happens to be a bestseller though Her Craziness is unsure if it is due to her reading the book or the true charm within it) it has a well written plotline, though it does not possess speed of action. It is an intriguing tale of two men, so different in their thoughts and actions which becomes a reason for their drawing swords against each other (though none of their swords are as regal as mine)

I loved first part of Abel’s life, his imprisonment, his escape to freedom and his fight for recognition in the world. Kane’s role was more impressive in the second part of the book when the protagonists meet for the first time. The underlining fact in this book was that both these men would go to any extent to attain their ends, that is they did not mind cheating and going the dirty way.

I thought it was very decent of Kane---oops! I can’t tell you that! What if you haven’t read the book?
Overall, this book makes decent reading. Her Craziness will bid dasvidaniya for now. The subject matter of my next blog will be the same as this one!

Yours Crazily!
Deeps :)

Crazy Musing: Take One!

2008-12-24T15:34:00.000+05:30

Inspiration is a strange visitor. It always strikes you like a flash of lightening when you are in deep thought. It struck me so, urging me to start my very own blog. Who am I to deny such flashes of brilliance?So here I am to chatter away about this and that.

The first thought that entered my head when I started this blog was, what do I write? I was at a complete loss for words!(I rarely face such situations!) After giving the matter some thought I decided that I would write about.....being at a complete loss of words. Sounds strange doesn't it?

When you are at loss for words:
1)You stare at the screen.
2)Your fingers hover over the keyboard uncertainly.
3)You look at the ceiling and the walls for inspiration.
4) Frustrated you start typing something like this!

Haha! I know you are laughing over this coz you have experienced something like this!
Now for something about me:

I'm a terribly bored student who likes reading and writing.
Writing fanfiction is my hobby and blogging is probably going to be my second one.
I overuse this symbol- !.
I detest social networking websites other than orkut and facebook.
I play chess on a weekend and scrabble as a pastime(but no, I'm not a nerd)
I love debating and I seriously think our News channels should start hosting proper debating shows.

So that's all about me folks! Hope you enjoy my craziness!